Update, the 30th

Our baby boy is quickly approaching one month of age, with all sorts of unique traits emerging all the time. The most prominent one is screaming, or crying, or shrieking, one of those. The one that sounds like a jet engine pointed at your ear. Yes, that's the one.

Laura will feed him for hours on end (literally, and hour on, a few minutes off, then another hour on) and begin to put him down because he IS completely limp and sleeping. Then just when you think you get a moment to, oh, I don't know, use the toilet, he goes from being completely peaceful to being raging angry. I'm not kidding. Zero to Angry Metal Band lead singer on crack in a fraction of a second. It's a bit terrifying; he'll empty his lungs and scream like he's being impaled. Maybe that sounds a bit extreme, but as newborn screams go, my son's wailings ARE my frame of reference; lacking a statistical comparison, I can only assume that some are worse, some are better. No doubt I'm not alone in this experience, but it can certainly be terrifying, and the only, ONLY thing that stops his cries is to hand him back to mom to feed again. Poor Laura is slowly turning into a zombie because she is always awake and feeding.

I'm not trying to complain here. I'm just telling my story. As more days go by (I can't believe he's already almost one month) the cries become easier to handle, and my approach to it all becomes more relaxed and understanding. Now I expect him to scream when he's hungry, and in a way I love it because it means he is alive and fighting and has big strong lungs. Plus it's really cool when I can help him calm down through singing or some other little game; it makes me feel like I am connecting with him, which is awesome.

He will make the strangest faces, and let out the most bazaar sounds even though he is fast asleep. We have not yet had the timing right with the video camera to capture this, but hopefully soon we will then we can share it. It's crazy to see him cry out then go immediately back to a solid sleep.

I don't know who knows. I'm tired.

tourism commercials

I'm gonna step away from baby talk for a moment to throw out this one thing that I think is interesting / funny.

Did you watch any of the Olympics, and if so did you ever happen to see this commercial? The producers pulled out several big-name, and easily recognizable to US citizens Canadian superstars to talk it up and make it look appealing, including Michael J. Fox, Sarah McLachlan, Ryan Reynolds, Kim Cattrall, Steve Nash, and Eric McCormack. It's got a good tune and it shows off some incredible natural scenery, but every scene with those celebrities is totally fake. Take a close look, every one of them is in front of a green screen, on some sort of set that tries to match that which is presented behind them; NONE of them blend in with the scenery.

Don't get me wrong, I think BC is gorgeous, and I fully intend to visit and enjoy it because I'm sure it is as wonderful if not more so than it looks. I just think it's funny that these folks love their country so much that they can't be bothered with actually going there to film a promotional commercial. By comparison, this commercial for California ACTUALLY features the celebs at real places in California. Of course it probably cost a lot more to make, and my taxes probably helped with that, but at least it's real.

My favorite tourism / promotional commercial is still this one for New Zealand. Maybe it's the song, maybe its the scenery, maybe it's the fact that I've been there, but it still gets me a little choked up whenever I see it.

happy two week birthday Tyler!

Happy Two Week birthday buddy (yesterday)!!

We've had a couple good days at home. In fact, the last six nights have been WAY better than the first couple nights. Laura decided to try making sure we feed him every two to three hours during the day, then make sure he's WELL fed at night before "putting him down for the night". So far, that practice is helping him to sleep three to four hours during the first pull, then after a late night feeding, he'll go another two or three hours, which has been GREAT for mom and dad. But knock on wood, let's hope that it continues.

We've taken a couple walks near our house, and one at McKinley Park in Sac, and we've visited Laura's work, my work, the neighbor's across the street whose little girl is just about a month older than our boy, etc, etc. So he's slowly getting introduced to the world, and his parents are slowly understanding his needs and how to fill them.

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Don't let my previous couple posts worry you. Understand that I was writing very late at night while sleep deprived, and under the duress of a screaming newborn. Lucky for us, the equation is very simple; he was just hungry. It's very hard to understand that when this whole process is new to me, but like I said, we're coming around.

coming back to normal

I think it's safe to say that late night blogging may not be the best thing for me to do. I suppose there is a higher degree of honesty in that activity, but in general it looks like I'm saying things that are unfounded and reactionary. I really shouldn't be freaking out like that until I give it a little time and understand what it means to be a parent a little better. This little boy of mine is a good kid, and he just wants to eat. The only way he knows how to express that is to cry, and he has no concept of volume, so he's gonna do whatever he's gonna do until someone takes care of him. The more I think back on his first week if life and some of my reactions to him, the more I realize that I have been selfish, thinking that he would somehow bend his needs to suit mine, or that there could ever be any sort of explanation for him just trying to get along other than the fact that he is just hungry and growing. Doesn't make me a bad person, just means I need to be more patient, and, ironically, learn to soothe myself in times when he is freaking out.

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Ok, so let's get onto a better track here. We set up a second crib (one that my sister had given us) in our bedroom so that we can let the boy sleep there at night. It seems a little silly what with another crib in just the next room, but this way we can keep tabs on him through the night, and not have to go far to take care of him if he has a diaper issue or is hungry.

He has had lots of visitors so far in his first week of life. All the grandparents met him on his birthday and over the course of the last week have made subsequent visits. Also on his birthday he had visits from the Telford Clan, and Steph and Jen. He's been visited by two uncles (Laura's brothers) and Aunt Bridget, his cousin Lily, his Aunt Casey, his other cousins Ramsey and Hayden, Laura's coworker Mendy, our rowing friends "Auntie" Kathleen and "Uncle" Rex, friends Denise and Ken and their brand new little girl Kylie. He's made one trip to Laura's work to be shown off there, and today he'll meet Nicole. No doubt over the next few day and weeks there will be many more visits from among our really good set of friends and family. We're pretty lucky to have such a wonderful set of people in our lives!

Tyler also had his first pediatrician visit last Tuesday, and he did a great job despite being stripped naked and more or less felt up. Woo that cry! Poor little guy has so much to get used to in this world. At least he can be soothed by mom and dad. I can't wait for immunization day; that will be a true test of our soothing abilities.

All right, I'm just rambling now. Until next time, peace out.

late night autism, perhaps?

Night time is the worst I think, for a new parent. At least for Laura and I. Somehow last night went so very, very well, with the boy allowing us to sleep a total of 5 golden hours in all.

Tonight, well it started out particularly crappy when he just wouldn't settle after feeding, a trait that except for last night has been "normal" since birth. By the way, happy one week birthday son. Things seems to be okay right at this moment; Tyler is sleeping on Laura in the rocking chair in the next room, and everybody has been quiet for the last half hour. I'm hoping these are good signs, but let's face it, it's only 2:18 and I am more of a pessimist than an optimist, so there is plenty of time left in the night for a melt down.

This probably isn't the best time for me to be blogging, but it was either this or hop on my rowing machine and scream as I pull as hard as I can. Laura and the boy might not appreciate option 2 there, so here I sit, feeling maybe a little autistic as I rapidly swing back and forth in the desk chair, hoping that the more words I type, and the more sways I swing, the more I might slip back into some semblance of mental stability.

It really doesn't help that this little boy (who, by the way, I know is acting totally normally for a newborn) is pushing my buttons and digging out the really bad parts of my personality. My temper, my lack of patience, my over-analyzation and tendency to just problem solve, my neuroses in general. Why is it so hard for me to chill out? Why am I so uptight? I could f up every single other thing in my life, but this, this new little life, this tiny little boy who knows NOTHING of the world, I should be able to comfort and support him without trying to out-stubborn him. Because wake up Andy, he's NOT being stubborn god dammit! He is confused! No, he doesn't even have an understanding of that yet because he has not yet built the neurological pathways that allow him to comprehend even the simplest sensations like touch!

Still swaying in my chair, perhaps even more aggressively now.

Saved by Laura! She scared the crap out of me just now when she snuck into the room, but she's calmed me down. What a wonderful woman. Where does she get her strength?

It's 2:45, I'm going to get whatever sleep I can before he wakes up again.

Somehow, somewhere, I am actually sane.

adjusting

Crazy first days at home with the new baby. I want someone to tell me that most (if not all) newborns can be totally insane screaming criers during the nights, and that it's not unusual to completely loose it and be crying on your new son's head because you don't have a fucking clue what's wrong (it probably doesn't help that that particular incident came after four hours of trying to get him to eat, sleep, poop, eat, sleep, soothe, etc, all during the middle of the night). I know he is new to this world, and that he has no idea what any of this is, what he is feeling, seeing, thinking, wanting, needing. He has no frame of reference from which to base his fears or hopes, or against which he can determine whether something is good or bad. But when the poor guy cries again and again in the middle of he night, at the top of his tiny little lungs, at what seems like a pitch that could outpunch a jet engine ...... maybe I'm just not tough enough, but man that's hard to handle. I'm welling up a little bit right now just thinking back to it last night.

Anyway, we're learning a lot about him, and he's learning a lot about ... well, every single thing around him. Somehow or another the three of us are all pulling towards some new average that lies between where he started last Friday and where we've been for our years on this earth.

Welcome Tyler!

Our son Tyler Alan was born last Friday! He is beyond beautiful, and every moment I look at him I am dumbstruck with awe. We spent the weekend at the hospital recovering, and although both Friday and Saturday nights were rough (everybody learning how to deal with one another), we're so, SO very happy to have him here.

a new phase begins ... almost

What is this ride that I am about to take? What is this strange new wonder that is coming my way? A new little person will enter my life, and the life of my wife, some time between tonight and ... well, the next few days. Laura will be induced beginning tonight, and from there who knows when our little baby will arrive. Regardless ... here we go!