improving self confidence

Self confidence. Where does one obtain this trait? My compliment of this attribute has waxed and wained to very large degrees over the years, and at any given moment may not be the same as it was just a few moments before. One "moment" is here defined as "a short while", which sometimes is a couple minutes, and sometimes is equal to the combined length of the Lord of the Rings Trilogy, special features included.

But seriously, there will be days where I feel like I'm on top of things, I know what I am saying, and I believe in the way I am presenting myself and my work. Then there will be moments (the short kind) like this morning where I overheard coworkers discussing some engineering stuff (that's what we engineers do, talk about "stuff"), using terms that I know I've learned about at some point in my educated past, but that I could not talk about with any smidgen of authority.

So how does one become more self-confident? Is it through the practice of succeeding at ones tasks? What if you won, but were never really challenged along the way? Is it by learning from failures? Is a person born with self-confidence, or can someone fake it? What happens when I have kids? I want to reflect (shine? beam?) a sense of self-confidence so that they can be confident in themselves, but does it even work that way?

Don't worry, I'm not melting down. I've got a rowing race (three of four of them actually) this coming Sunday and I'm going through all the motions of getting myself physched up for them. So many times I'll get all amped up and ready, only to reach the starting line, or just get into the race and find myself looking for ways to ease off a little so that I know I can survive the entire race. There is something to be said for establishing your pace throughout a race, but I hate ending a race knowing that I could have pulled harder.

So anyway, it's not all about the rowing. I actually ask myself some of these questions from time to time, and really wonder at the answers. No wonder I'm a crazy person; I haven't found any of the answers yet!